I have been meaning to start for at least two decades, but have never really gotten started. By many standards, I have been fairly successful — but I remain empty, anxious, unfulfilled, stressed, and unhappy.
I have read extensively about what to do, and how to get started to turn myself around, but I have never gotten round to it. I have procrastinated. Put things off time and time again.
I let life simply happen. I react to it. There is little thought which goes behind what I do — I simply do.
So here I am, writing my first entry on this new Medium. This is my way of getting what is inside of me out. I have kept too much inside of me for too long. I have tried journaling, and although my brief efforts did bear fruit, it felt that it reinforced one of my struggles — keeping things inside of me.
I am turning to this public Medium in order to put things out there in the public realm. I do not expect others to read what I am writing, nor for this “journal” of sorts to garner much of a following — but the public nature of this Medium is the first step in getting things out of me and on my way to transforming myself from the inside out.
I will chronicle my struggles, achievements, and thoughts. My goal is to be happy by leading a well-rounded life. I have a long list of things I would like to achieve and what I believe encapsulates a well-rounded life, but am not going to list it here on this post.
For now, I have completed my first step — which is the hardest — it has taken me almost 25 years!
So long.
Nicolas
